You will be a great parent to your child. You can overcome the bigotry you face.
And your child will learn all they need from you to live a great, successful life.
Becoming a parent is exciting, worthwhile, and a bit scary for anyone. You want to provide a happy life for your child.
But you may worry about various conditions that make it more challenging. The specific difficulties of being an LGBTQ parent amplify those issues.
LGBTQ parenting issues
The first steps in LGBTQ couples having children will look a bit different for everyone. They may consist of a blended family, with children from previous straight relationships. They may adopt, or they may choose surrogacy or in vitro fertilization.
Adoption and fertility issues alone can create difficulties, as they would for any couple. As an LGBTQ parent, you must also contend with the fear of bigotry within a society that doesn’t fully support you. Financial burdens may come about, due to the lack of financial support by companies and insurances for same-sex couples.
You may worry about the effect that bigotry could have on your children. Acceptance of your own identity may already be a struggle within that societal environment. Persistent, systemic forces pushing back against you are discouraging. Even more so when they also affect your loved ones.
Some of those forces may be political. Even with same-sex marriage becoming legal in 2015, LGBTQ couples still face plenty of (more subtle) obstacles. In the process of adoption, for one, LGBTQ couples may face higher hurdles to overcome. These could entail increased standards for approval and longer waiting periods.
And some forces may be societal. Bigotry in medical and social settings is still common for LGBTQ independents and families. For example, maybe one parent is blood-related and the other is not. You may have difficulty receiving equal treatment in medical settings that concern your child. The blood-related parent could receive certain rights more readily.
You may also face elevated levels of scrutiny from other parents at your child’s school. People may question the quality of your parenting based only on prejudiced assumptions. This scrutiny might also occur in familial settings. Some family members may be more supportive of your “non-traditional” family unit than others.
LGBTQ affirming therapy
These concerns are all valid, and we are here to help you navigate them.
You are more than capable of being a great parent to your child. And there is no shame in asking for help.
In fact, plenty of evidences suggests that children do just as well in life with same-sex parents as with straight parents. Similar parenting issues, such as behavior and money, may affect all couples.
But many children with LGBTQ parents are more open-minded and tolerant. And LGBTQ parents are often more motivated in their parenting. They put extra effort into becoming parents in the first place, and may be even more invested.
Our LGBTQ affirming therapists will walk you through more general parenting issues. We will also provide counseling and support in dealing with the systemic and societal issues you face.
And we will help you guide discussions about bigotry with your children.
You want your children to become open-minded people. Start by teaching them about various differences in culture, race, and sexual identities. Of course, your children will (and should) resolve some conflicts on their own. But you will have given them a foundation of compassion for those moments.
